In depth Muzmatch (mainly) and online dating review

Now, this will be a non-positive review but I want to say, there are many genuine people on the app (muzmatch/MM) and many people do find someone sooner or later. But the overall theme of the app, for me, is bad. I’m a very analytical person and made a number of observations which I have not heard beforehand when I was reading around before deciding to use it.

I’m a guy. I used MM and also two dating sites. I used MM for 2 months. The following is not just for appearance but in terms of success/education and religiousness also; I’d describe myself as a solid 7/10 and easily 8/10 depending on the type of girl at the other end. I hate describing things in such a manner but for the sake of this review I will from time to time use this method as it’s hard to get the point across otherwise. This review will not be about me really, but I felt I should give my experience with the app/dating sites as I am writing a review.

I’ve had a several weeks where I had 1 match a week and several weeks where I had around a dozen matches a week. I live near a large western city. Based on our conversations, only 2 proceeded and I’m in touch with them and am seeing how it goes. And I have deleted the app and regret using it. For me, the process of finding someone was always, always about compatibility on a deeper level and thankfully there are people like that out there, but this app is DESIGNED to make it about competition.

Well look, dating is always going to be about competitiveness and comparisons, but I found dating sites in general and the app MM more so, to greatly accentuate these qualities. The real winners in this game are not the males/females looking for a relationship but the app and brand that is MM. Of course, many people do find love, someone compatible, and will continue to do so, but I’m speaking about the overall… aura and feel of the process. The app is specifically designed in a way to be addictive, to make you question your self-worth (both male and female) and draw out money from people.

The more competitive the apps/dating sites are, the more money they can draw out from people as the search for someone, turns into a race for someone.

 The market in the online dating game is generally skewed towards having more males than females. This is especially the case in western apps like Tinder simply due to one glaringly huge reason: males who want casual sex. There are more men on MM but you’d have to be really dumb to use MM to hook up with people, it may even work but probably rare. I don’t know the stats but it’s fairly obvious in this day and age especially, 90%+ (rough estimate) on the app MM are looking for a relationship.

So why are there more men? Because that skews the whole playing field, statistically the are more or less similar number of Muslim males to females in the west. One reason is, the age range, men in the 20-35 age range are interested in women in the 20-25 age range (rough estimates), so even though in real life the stats are balanced, in the sites and apps there is more of a leniency towards younger women going for older men. Another reason is due to the how reserved our cultures are still towards women, so many Muslim women – their parents arrange something whereas for men, their parents arrange something for them but they are also most likely on the online playing field – something which many parents still might not be comfortable with for their Muslim daughters. There are likely other reasons, but these are the ones I picked up upon after reading around.

Why are the stats so important – well because it creates a negative feedback loop. Men sign up, message a few women, those women already have a ton of interest, the new men realize women can be picky, and they too start spamming likes or messages. And so that makes women even more picky because more men are interested etc etc.

Women aren’t cold, heartless, picky creatures by choice. Many a times I’ve read how picky women are on these sites/apps. Here’s the truth: they don’t have a choice; they are not in charge of that decision. It’s hard to take each man’s interest too seriously when you know for a fact that 80%< of them liked a hundred female profiles before you and probably will continue liking another 100 profiles after yours. Can you put yourself in their shoes and see how it’s hard not to not take men seriously once you realise that you are one of hundreds of likes? Again – this is a feature of the app, it creates a vapid, shallow playing field with these purposefully designed tricks – it is slightly better on dating websites because you generally have to send a message plus if it’s generic it’s obvious. But with the app you HAVE TO like or dislike, and so women on these apps open their app after the weekend and when they see 300 likes on their profile they can’t help but think… men are so ‘thirsty’ – I hate that word but again, words like that go hand in hand with apps like these. And then certain number of men will pay to like more profiles, to send more messages – again, the app is winning by creating competition and superficiality. 

 I know I’ve mentioned this before but I will again, someone might be reading this rather negative review but they found someone compatible – had a decent experience – I’m speaking about the overall process and what it is like for probably the majority of people.

Another point I have not seen before is, people always say, the vast majority being guys, that it effects the confidence, based on reading around it’s clear men aren’t happy with the amount of times the likes or messages are reciprocated. But confidence issues don’t just effect men but women also in a different way – all the females see all the male profiles, they see all the 9/10, 10/10 type guys (again, religiously, financially, physically or a combination) and they want that. They really do and it’s not pleasant when the guy isn't interested or loses interest. As those guys are also picky. So on many female profiles you will see ‘only serious people’ or ‘no time wasters’, this always makes me cringe because if this is a big issue all they are saying is that they generally like really high profile guys, who aren’t serious or just wasted their time – erm… they are speaking to other women and became disinterested. Same goes for guys, some guys do mention how people on these apps or sites aren’t serious – they are, most Muslims on Muslim dating apps, want to be in a relationship, they were obviously speaking to more than one person and only one person makes the cut. There are creeps as well who genuinely waste time or aren’t serious but let’s be honest most Muslims on Muslim dating apps above the ages of 23 especially, are looking for a partner.

Again, people aren’t vapid, people aren't so hyper focused on getting the best – these apps trigger these qualities. We weren’t evolutionary designed to scroll through a thousand different potential partners where you get 3 seconds to make a decision on each one. In real life, in real social settings, we are designed to talk with and meet one person at a time, and if we decided to meet them, we will likely spend some time talking. That’s natural, that’s genuine – of course this isn’t feasible in the western world where it’s hard to meet other potential Muslims. Women are picky on the dating sites and apps – but it’s like this. Pizza is delicious, when someone meets someone form the opposite sex of a similar age and similar interests, there’s chemistry, pizza is delicious. But if you have to choose between 400 different types of pizza, all of a sudden only certain types of pizza’s look appealing. I say this because a lot of guys especially on this reddit sub and in general forums take it to heart and don’t have the mental acuity to see that, it’s not that most women wouldn’t be interested in you as a person, it’s that they are not interested in your website or app profile because there are hundreds of others, it’s a highly unnatural way to genuinely make a connection – although of course it does happen and people do find the love of their life, the app certainly works.

 I wanted to write this, precisely because I feel many people don’t understand that the dating experience online (app or site) is highly unpleasant but it’s due to the playing field and the rules and how it’s set up. There is nothing wrong with the vast majority of people who can’t find someone or develop a lower sense of self worth. My advice would be try and meet another Muslim in real life where you can make a more genuine connection right off the bat, or at least use matrimonial sites where you write out your whole profile and girls write out theirs, and instead of it being a competition, a match maker joins two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I don't want to end on this because it sounds like an ad for matrimonial services hahaha XD, but seriously do anything, whatever else, just avoid the app, dating sites are slightly better but less Muslims.

This was a review, I don't personally want a discussion - other people can freely do so, if I said something that offended someone in some way, I'm sorry. Over and out.